getting back on the horse

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the concepts of "success" and "failure". The older I get the more I realize that failure really isn't the end of the world and some of your best successes can come from failing. The more time I spend in the classroom teaching kids the more I see how this lesson applies to the confidence and growth of kids.

Many many months ago I attended the Seattle premier of Undefeated, the 2012 Academy Award Winner for Best Documentary, and co-directed by a buddy of mine. In the movie the coach keeps telling his team that the measure of a man (or woman) is not determined by how he handles success, but how he handles failures.

I've learned a lot about how to turn failures into something that can be seen as success over the past 4 years. Some of them have turned into major life changes and others are just small victories, but still can be considered successes nevertheless.

Here is one particular incident that comes to mind:

Before I came back to Guyana, and I was still living in Seattle, I had gotten really into yoga and decided I wanted to try Bikram Yoga (aka HOT yoga). I purchased a Groupon for a few sessions at a studio near the place I was working. In theory I thought it would be pretty awesome doing yoga in a really hot room, I like to sweat, and I did yoga in Guyana, couldn't really be all that different, right?

I showed up to my first class hydrated (or so I thought), excited, and ready to go. We began and I was really into it, challenging myself, sweating my ass off (the room is kept at a "pleasant"105°F ≈ 40.6°C) , working myself into poses I never thought I could get into. About 35-40 minutes in it just hit me, I was going to pass out. So I lied down in corpse pose (it's not as morbid as it sounds you just lie on your back with your eyes open looking at the ceiling while breathing) and tried to relax, it worked for a bit, so I got back up and kept going, but then I got that splotchy tunnel vision and knew I had to lie back down. As soon as I did I knew I was going to puke and pass out at the same time, the only thought I had in my head at that moment was to get out of the room ASAP. So I head out the door........ and the next thing I know 5 people are kneeling over me asking me my name, the date, if my head hurts, etc. Apparently I did pass out (but no puking), and on my way down fell against the wall so hard I put good size hole in the drywall with my back. The paramedics were called, class ended early, and I became "that girl".

Let me start off by saying that getting myself into embarrassing situations doesn't shame me as much as it used to. After my Peace Corps experience in Guyana I'm kind of used to being "that girl". During one jungle adventure I spent four hours out of an eight hour mini-bus ride with my head hanging out the window puking my guts out. At that point I could have cared less what the other passengers were thinking about me, I was just focused on not puking in the mini-bus, on me, or anyone else, as well as making sure I didn't get a concussion  from all the crazy swerving over the unpaved road that was causing the nausea in the first place.

But let's get back to the story.......

If passing out in a yoga class and having the paramedics called had happened to me 4-5 years ago I would have completely written off Bikram Yoga as something that was clearly not for me, something I was not good at, and I would definitely never show my face again EVER. However, the idea of being a quitter and not really knowing if I actually liked it or not since I didn't make it through the entire class convinced me I needed to try it again. So I did. I went back to the same studio, told the instructor before the class started that I had tried Bikram once before and ended putting a hole in their studio wall. She looked at me with wide eyes, and was a bit speechless for a moment , then regained her composure and reminded me of the correct Bikram protocol of not leaving the room and lying down if I needed a break. She also promised to check on me throughout the class.

 I also took some lessons away from my last experience and took a few precautions:

1) Made sure I was HYDRATED!! I mean really really really hydrated. I made sure I drank at least 64 oz. of water before class as well as getting some electrolytes in my system and added some to my water before class started.
2) Pace myself. I felt great during that first 30 minutes of my first class and I was pushing myself entirely too hard. I needed to slow down and ease into the class.
3) Lie down when needed. There is no shame in taking a little break and EVERYONE does it at some point during the 90 minute class.

I am happy to say that my second Bikram yoga experience was a huge success. I made it through without passing out, having the paramedics called, or destroying studio property. I enjoyed the physical and mental challenge of getting my body in poses that required flexibility, balance, and focus. I also listened to my body when it was time to rest and re-hydrate. However I believe the biggest success for me was the fact that I "got back on the horse."

There have been several "getting back on the horse" moments since my Bikram incident and I know there will be many more. I just think it's alway nice to remind oneself that failure is not the worst thing that can happen in life.

Giddy-up.