four for 34

Last year I made a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 34. Well, I turned 34 9 days ago and I just went and reread that list. I was surprised that I achieved a good 2/3 of the things on it. I'm not sure if it's just me, but I notice I tend to focus on all the things I failed to do, or things I didn't do well/correctly, etc. I didn't read the books I said I was going to read, I still can't do unassisted pull-ups, fold myself into pigeon pose in yoga, and I think my quest for patience is going to be a lifelong journey.  However, instead of focusing on all the things I didn't achieve, and setting myself up with another list of things I may or may not accomplish I want to do something a little different for this trip around the sun.

Part 1: notes of gratitude

In my opinion there is nothing better to improve the mood then to sit back and take note of all the things to be grateful for in life. It's an opportunity to live within the present moment and to realize that life is not nearly as bad as it may seem sometimes. It's so easy to think about all the stuff that is lacking like time, money, etc., but then unexpected and wonderful things happen and it snaps you right out.
So here's the plan, I'm going to take note (verbally, mentally, on a post-it, in a journal, in a letter, in an email, on this blog, etc.) of those things that I am most grateful for, big and small. I will do my best to keep track of them all and on my 35th birthday I will compile the most spectacular list of all the most wonderful things that have happened throughout the year.

Part 2: love the one you're with

I'm a teacher and surrounded by people all day, but the one person I'm with all the time is.....me. I need to do my best to love myself to the best of my ability. When I married my husband I made all kinds of vows to love him and honor him during all kinds of happy and sad stuff, but how can I do that for him if I don't vow to do those things for myself first. So I'm vowing to honor, love, cherish, and protect myself. I will make sure I get enough exercise, because it makes me feel good about myself, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I will eat foods that make me happy, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I will take time for myself when I need it. I will surround myself by people who challenge to make me better. I will use my free time to surround myself with the ones I love or doing things that make me happy (and if that means watching re-runs of Scandal, than that is my choice).

Part 3: do what you love and love what you do

I love a lot of things, but if I had to narrow down my VERY favorite things I would say I love learning, food, books, and dancing (in no particular order). And that is where you come in. I'm taking suggestions. If there are books you have read that you have fallen in love with or that blew your mind, please pass them on and let me know about them. If there are recipes, foods, restaurants that have rocked your taste buds tell me all about it. If there is a new band or song that just gets you bopping every time you hear it, please send it to me. If you see a video, TED talk, movie, book, lecture, website, etc. with the most fascinating fact/idea/invention, share away. And not just with me, but with all the other awesome people in your world. I would really like to make this year all about passing on the AWESOMENESS!

Part 4: the bucket list

I think it is supremely important to have hopes, dreams, and goals. I also think it is important to not talk yourself out of them just because they seem impossible. So this year I am going to start a serious bucket list with all of the things I have always wanted to do, places I have wanted to go, things I have wanted to eat, and people I have wanted to meet. No matter how ridiculous, if it is a dream it will go on the list. I have learned to NEVER underestimate the power of your dreams, and the sense of humor of the Universe.

I would like to take a moment to say thank you for helping me out with my four part plan for making this next year supremely AMAZING!

Conversation in Class Today: The 70s

During our Social Studies lesson about Amerindian tribes of Guyana.........

T: Miss, what does 80 BCE mean? Eighty years before Christ?

Me: Yes, it means 80 years before Jesus.

R: Yeah! The 70s!!! (While fist pumping and nodding his head with enthusiasm)

getting back on the horse

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the concepts of "success" and "failure". The older I get the more I realize that failure really isn't the end of the world and some of your best successes can come from failing. The more time I spend in the classroom teaching kids the more I see how this lesson applies to the confidence and growth of kids.

Many many months ago I attended the Seattle premier of Undefeated, the 2012 Academy Award Winner for Best Documentary, and co-directed by a buddy of mine. In the movie the coach keeps telling his team that the measure of a man (or woman) is not determined by how he handles success, but how he handles failures.

I've learned a lot about how to turn failures into something that can be seen as success over the past 4 years. Some of them have turned into major life changes and others are just small victories, but still can be considered successes nevertheless.

Here is one particular incident that comes to mind:

Before I came back to Guyana, and I was still living in Seattle, I had gotten really into yoga and decided I wanted to try Bikram Yoga (aka HOT yoga). I purchased a Groupon for a few sessions at a studio near the place I was working. In theory I thought it would be pretty awesome doing yoga in a really hot room, I like to sweat, and I did yoga in Guyana, couldn't really be all that different, right?

I showed up to my first class hydrated (or so I thought), excited, and ready to go. We began and I was really into it, challenging myself, sweating my ass off (the room is kept at a "pleasant"105°F ≈ 40.6°C) , working myself into poses I never thought I could get into. About 35-40 minutes in it just hit me, I was going to pass out. So I lied down in corpse pose (it's not as morbid as it sounds you just lie on your back with your eyes open looking at the ceiling while breathing) and tried to relax, it worked for a bit, so I got back up and kept going, but then I got that splotchy tunnel vision and knew I had to lie back down. As soon as I did I knew I was going to puke and pass out at the same time, the only thought I had in my head at that moment was to get out of the room ASAP. So I head out the door........ and the next thing I know 5 people are kneeling over me asking me my name, the date, if my head hurts, etc. Apparently I did pass out (but no puking), and on my way down fell against the wall so hard I put good size hole in the drywall with my back. The paramedics were called, class ended early, and I became "that girl".

Let me start off by saying that getting myself into embarrassing situations doesn't shame me as much as it used to. After my Peace Corps experience in Guyana I'm kind of used to being "that girl". During one jungle adventure I spent four hours out of an eight hour mini-bus ride with my head hanging out the window puking my guts out. At that point I could have cared less what the other passengers were thinking about me, I was just focused on not puking in the mini-bus, on me, or anyone else, as well as making sure I didn't get a concussion  from all the crazy swerving over the unpaved road that was causing the nausea in the first place.

But let's get back to the story.......

If passing out in a yoga class and having the paramedics called had happened to me 4-5 years ago I would have completely written off Bikram Yoga as something that was clearly not for me, something I was not good at, and I would definitely never show my face again EVER. However, the idea of being a quitter and not really knowing if I actually liked it or not since I didn't make it through the entire class convinced me I needed to try it again. So I did. I went back to the same studio, told the instructor before the class started that I had tried Bikram once before and ended putting a hole in their studio wall. She looked at me with wide eyes, and was a bit speechless for a moment , then regained her composure and reminded me of the correct Bikram protocol of not leaving the room and lying down if I needed a break. She also promised to check on me throughout the class.

 I also took some lessons away from my last experience and took a few precautions:

1) Made sure I was HYDRATED!! I mean really really really hydrated. I made sure I drank at least 64 oz. of water before class as well as getting some electrolytes in my system and added some to my water before class started.
2) Pace myself. I felt great during that first 30 minutes of my first class and I was pushing myself entirely too hard. I needed to slow down and ease into the class.
3) Lie down when needed. There is no shame in taking a little break and EVERYONE does it at some point during the 90 minute class.

I am happy to say that my second Bikram yoga experience was a huge success. I made it through without passing out, having the paramedics called, or destroying studio property. I enjoyed the physical and mental challenge of getting my body in poses that required flexibility, balance, and focus. I also listened to my body when it was time to rest and re-hydrate. However I believe the biggest success for me was the fact that I "got back on the horse."

There have been several "getting back on the horse" moments since my Bikram incident and I know there will be many more. I just think it's alway nice to remind oneself that failure is not the worst thing that can happen in life.

Giddy-up.

full.

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!
I realize that it has been about 7 months since my last blog post and my 2013 Resolution is to be a more consistent blogger (or at least, try to be). I started this blog almost exactly one year ago. It was inspired by the events that occurred between January 26 - February 4, 2012. It's amazing how such devastating and disappointing news can turn into an unexpected blessing in such a short amount of time. The entire direction/path of my life changed in the span of a week. I'm still in awe of how the Universe reveals those little special secrets and surprises when you least expect and most need it.

So since my last blog post which was on my birthday LAST year I've........

.....moved back to Guyana.
.....moved to a new city in Guyana.
.....moved into a new house in that new city in Guyana.
.....got married.
.....started a new job.

And that was just July and August.

Needless to say my life has been VERY full.
Full of LOVE and CHANGE and TRANSITION and LEARNING and NEWNESS and STRESS and HAPPINESS and STUDENTS and SUNSHINE and CHALLENGES and FRIENDS and NOISE and LAUGHTER and TEARS and CELEBRATIONS and MISUNDERSTANDINGS and BLESSINGS. My life is full of all kinds of amazing and wonderful things, as well as all those hard not so easy things. I'm convinced at this point that I have to learn how to embrace both the good, the easy, the happy, the joyful AND the hard, the challenging, the sad, the frustrating. That is really what life is. Learning. Moving forward. The process of the challenging and hard stuff becoming easier.

So as the Universe continues to steer me in unknown directions I will continue to remind myself that being full is a good thing........now, off to go eat lunch.