34 things to do while i'm 33

My 33rd Birthday was SPECTACULAR! I spent the weekend with my fabulous wonderful friends eating amazingly delicious food, laughing, smiling, and relaxing. It was just right. On my actual birthday I took the afternoon off, had a lovely massage, and spent some time reflecting on all the lessons I learned while I was 32. I decided to make a list of 34 things I wanted to accomplish and work on this next year, before I turn 34. I have a feeling some of them will be easy to achieve and some of them will take a lifetime of work. 

What would you like to accomplish/learn/work on this next year?

34 things to do before turning 34:

  1)      Get married.

  2)      Get pregnant (hopefully).

  3)      Make new friends…..

  4)      But, keep the old ones (they are pretty rad)!

  5)      Read at least 5 classic pieces of literature that I haven’t read yet.

  6)      Watch at least 5 classic movies that I haven’t seen yet.

  7)      Travel to Region 1 of Guyana, so I can officially say that I have been to all 10 Regions.

  8)      Travel to a country I haven’t been to (like….Barbados or Trinidad)!

  9)      Learn how to make round roti.

  10)   Have Marlon teach me how to make pepperpot.

  11)   Become a better listener (to my friends, my students, my family, my partner, and myself).

  12)   Become nimble enough to get myself into Pigeon Pose in Yoga. 

  13)   Start meditating for at least 10 minutes every day.

  14)   Embrace my artistic and creative side.

  15)   Tell the people that I love and care about, that I love and care about them….more often than I do now.

  16)   Continue to work on being patient……this one might take a lifetime.

  17)   Do 3 unassisted pull-ups.

  18)   Attend at least one Hindu wedding.

  19)   Drink more water.

  20)   Continue to ask for help when I need it.

  21)   Practice more acts of kindness both random and deliberate.

  22)   Start writing stories about my first 2 years in Guyana, so maybe I can get them published one day.

  23)   Learn the rules to cricket and attend at least one game at the National Stadium.

  24)   Get a Guyanese Driver’s License.

  25)   Learn how to drive on the left side.

  26)   Learn how to wrap a sari.

  27)   Worry less.

  28)   Become a better card player.

  29)   Improve my vocabulary.

  30)   Eat less refined sugar.

  31)   Take better care of my skin.

  32)   Be open to new adventures.

  33)   Be brave.

  34)   LOVE!!!

the life you are capable of living

I have tried writing this particular post about 5 different times this week, and each time I didn't feel like I was saying what I really meant. Today I logged onto Facebook and saw a quote that my friend Sara from massage school posted on her wall, it said:

"There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."
-Nelson Mandela

I kept reading it over and over and thinking, "WOW! That is SO true, but what the heck does that really mean?" I mean really? What kind of life are we all capable of living? I know that seems like a crazy question, but I don't think I really started to wrap my head around what kind of potential is in all of us until I joined the Peace Corps. I think it's one thing to have an inkling of what it is you are capable of and when you see that come to fruition you think, "yeah, I knew I had it in me", but it completely and totally blows your mind when you exceed what you thought you were capable of. That is what happened to me in Guyana. I exceeded any and every expectation of what I thought I was capable of in both a personal and professional way, and my mind was BLOWN. I fell in love.....with myself, with Guyana, and with a man. I have never been the same since.

It's hard to come back to USA reality after that kind of transformation. I wanted to be able to hang onto that new found awareness, but it was hard. It was hard to readjust how I related to people who knew me before I left and not misinterpret how they related to me. It was hard to maintain that passion for living that life I knew I was capable of when I couldn't get a job and I was living at home with Mom and Dad. I had this plan for when I got back and it was all going to fall into place and I was going to be OK. But life sometimes has other plans, and I apparently needed to struggle through 9 months of falling down, failing, asking for help, letting people love me when I felt anything but lovable, and mourning the end of my incredible Peace Corps journey, in order to be ready for what the Universe had in store for me.

I was putting so much energy and stress into a plan that just wasn't working out and the harder I tried to make it work the less it did. I thought I was being responsible and doing what I was "supposed" to do, but this past January the Universe intervened to set me back on the right path. I was given some pretty devastating news and it forced me to reevaluate what I was doing, why I was doing it, and what I REALLY wanted. Within 5 days my plan and path had completely changed and with that change it all started to get easier, things started to fall into place, and I started to have that vision, passion, and yearning for the life I know I am capable of having.

And so....It looks like I'll be moving back to Guyana this summer to marry the man I fell in love with and to work as a teacher at the International School (YEP, finally got a job!).

Off to find out more of what my life is capable of.

32

I like being 32. I think it's a good age. I find myself starting to say the phrase, "It's only taken me 32 years, but I finally.....":

-...find myself listening to NPR(.....occasionally). This might not seem like such a big deal and you might be thinking, huh, you're 32 and your just now listening to NPR, but let me clarify, I've been listening to NPR my entire life. I have not so fond memories of BBC World News and All Things Considered playing during many a car ride home from school as a child, half-listening and wondering why men with British accents were talking about "gorillas"and their wars so intently, I thought it was the most awfully boring thing in the world, and prayed that my parents would change the station. Even as an adult the calm voices of talk radio DJs just creeped me out and made me want to crawl out the windows of my car and into oncoming traffic. But all of a sudden about 2 months ago it all changed, I found myself desperately searching for something of substance after hearing the same damn Rihanna song played over and over on all the other radio channels. I don't consider myself much of a news junkie, but I find myself drawn to some of the more quirkier shows, and even catch myself laughing out loud like an idiot to "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me."

-.......weigh the weight that is says on my driver's license. It's true! I've always been the chubby kid and my love affair with food has always been an issue of shame and self-ridicule. But when I got to Guyana that all changed, the combination of gastro-intestinal distress, parasites, sweating, walking, dengue fever, more sweating, more walking, etc. caused me to shed a few pounds and fall within the healthy BMI for my height. When I returned to the US I went a little overboard indulging in the Thai/Mexican/Vietnamese/Mexican/Italian/BBQ/Mom home-cooked meals and gained the weight back. But it sparked something in me, I knew that I wasn't the fat kid and in August I joined Weight Watchers. I'm happy to report that I've lost over 20 pounds, weigh less than I did when I graduated from high school, AND now all of the information on my driver's license is 100% accurate.

-.....have some kind of athletic ability. Who knew? I wasn't much for sports as a kid (hence the whole chubby thing), I have NEVER like running (still not the biggest fan), but I discovered over these past 6 months that I have some athletic ability. I started doing the INSANITY workouts when I started doing weight watchers, it was a great way to get A LOT of activity points in a small amount of time. (If you don't know what Insanity is you can check it out here.) I will admit I thought I was going to die the first week and wasn't sure how I was even going to make it through the 10 minute warm-ups, but somehow I found a way to "dig deeper" and after those first 2 weeks it got easier and I got better....and thinner....and faster.....and tighter. I'm not saying I have 6-pack abs or buns of steel, but I can make it through all the workouts in Month 1 without passing out......Month 2 is a different story.

Being 32 hasn't been the easiest, but I have learned some incredibly valuable lessons. It is OK to change your mind, come back to something you thought you didn't like and be pleasantly surprised by it years later. You don't have to be stuck in the past, if you want to change yourself to be better, healthier, happier it is within reach and the only person getting in the way of that is your own self. This year I have vowed to take responsibility for my mistakes and failures and learn from them, admit when I am wrong and own it, and accept that I am not perfect and no one expects me to be. I will open myself up to trying the new and retrying the old.

I invite you to reflect on ways you have grown that have pleasantly surprised you over the past year. I also encourage you to think about accessible positive changes you want to make for yourself and take that first step. Remember that YOU ARE WORTH IT no matter how young or old you are!

....and so it begins

I told myself on January 1, 2012 that this year was going to be my year. Good things were coming my way and it all was going to work out. Last year (2011) was a year of endings, transitions, challenges, failures, lessons learned, and some successes. It was hard transitioning back to life in the US after 2+ years living in Guyana and being in the Peace Corps. That experience was by far one of the most profound things I ever decided to do and it has forever changed me in ways that I still have yet to discover. I miss it everyday and think about the people and the country that I left. I knew coming back was going to be hard, but I never anticipated all the challenges I would face in the months that I have been back. Some things got easier with time, some things took more time, and some things I am still learning to adjust to. With that said I thought that when the clock struck midnight on January 1, 2012 I was going to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. In some ways I did, I decided to approach life with a different attitude, instead of looking at all the challenges and setbacks as a negative thing I decided to look at them as a way to learn, grow, and gain new ideas, perspectives, and skills. Good thing too because we are only 2 months in and it has already been quite the year.

So here it is my New Year's Resolutions for 2012:
-Realize that failure is NOT the worse thing that can happen. Lot's of really GOOD life lessons come from failing and it is really one of the best ways to learn and grow in order to become a better person.
-Roll with the punches. Change is inevitable. My life has been a multiple series of Plan B's. It's nice to have a plan, but usually the universe has other one's in mind and it's OK to change them.
-Work on being more patient and gentle with myself
-GIVE THANKS! I am blessed with amazing family, friends, experiences, opportunities, and options. The more I express my gratitude to every person and experience that enhances me and my life the more I realize how beautiful and amazing this world is and I don't focus as much on the stress and anxiety that can build up in my daily life.
-Be open to what the Universe has in store for me........

Welcome to my adventure!