I'm not the biggest fan of New Years. I always feel that there is the hype of finding some awesome party to attend and having the perfect moment at midnight. I don't really believe in perfect and I'm not really a big party person, besides I like to be in bed by 9:00. I also tend to think that New Years is a relative term. Maybe my years as a student and teacher have altered my sense of time and perspective of "new year" to start in August/September and not January. Or the fact that the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashannah, is usually in September/October,but I just feel that focusing on renewal in the dead of winter right after Christmas can be so depressing and such a let down. It's cold, dark, and dreary and now we need to start making goals of how we are finally going to lose those 20 pounds not helped by all the holiday indulgence, or be better about keeping in touch with friends and family, etc. By March we've lost motivation or become distracted by daily life. I feel that this form of goal setting just sets most of us up for failure.
I don't mean to sound defeatist or depressing, but I guess I like to think of life as a circle, no real beginning or end. Goals, changes, and lessons happen at the proper time, when they are needed or when the universe reveals the right moment, not at a designated time that the rest of the world says is right. Maybe January 1 isn't the right time to reflect, focus, or make big changes.
However I think this year January 1 is the right time to focus on making some changes. I consider myself lucky to be married to man who is constantly reflecting and looking at how to make things better. He's constantly challenging me to be an even better version of my best self. It's hard work, and it certainly isn't always a pretty process, especially for me. I'm not particularly the most graceful person, literally and figuratively, and if there is one thing that I would like to work on for 2014 it is to work on my grace.
I've had a lot of highs and lows in 2013 and I think the most important thing is to look at what can be learned from the lows while also enjoying the highs. There have been some thrilling victories and adventures (Marlon getting his visa and his first visit to the US, which has been a 2 1/2 year process for us), and some excruciating heartbreaks (three miscarriages and the death of my grandmother and a friend in Seattle). But these are the moments and tidbits that make up life, they will always be there: the good, the bad, the happy, and the sad. That's where the grace comes in, how can I learn to be more humble, kind, courteous, patient, thoughtful, and spiritual? A lot of these qualities do not come easily to me and I suppose that is why I like to surround myself with people who naturally exhibit these qualities.
My mom suggested I start small and work on a little bit at a time. So that's what I'll do, be gentle with myself, remind myself that it's OK to have moments of failure, and to climb back on the horse of grace every time I fall off, bruised ego and all.
I don't mean to sound defeatist or depressing, but I guess I like to think of life as a circle, no real beginning or end. Goals, changes, and lessons happen at the proper time, when they are needed or when the universe reveals the right moment, not at a designated time that the rest of the world says is right. Maybe January 1 isn't the right time to reflect, focus, or make big changes.
However I think this year January 1 is the right time to focus on making some changes. I consider myself lucky to be married to man who is constantly reflecting and looking at how to make things better. He's constantly challenging me to be an even better version of my best self. It's hard work, and it certainly isn't always a pretty process, especially for me. I'm not particularly the most graceful person, literally and figuratively, and if there is one thing that I would like to work on for 2014 it is to work on my grace.
I've had a lot of highs and lows in 2013 and I think the most important thing is to look at what can be learned from the lows while also enjoying the highs. There have been some thrilling victories and adventures (Marlon getting his visa and his first visit to the US, which has been a 2 1/2 year process for us), and some excruciating heartbreaks (three miscarriages and the death of my grandmother and a friend in Seattle). But these are the moments and tidbits that make up life, they will always be there: the good, the bad, the happy, and the sad. That's where the grace comes in, how can I learn to be more humble, kind, courteous, patient, thoughtful, and spiritual? A lot of these qualities do not come easily to me and I suppose that is why I like to surround myself with people who naturally exhibit these qualities.
My mom suggested I start small and work on a little bit at a time. So that's what I'll do, be gentle with myself, remind myself that it's OK to have moments of failure, and to climb back on the horse of grace every time I fall off, bruised ego and all.
